With DramaticalBlue, Continued

[powerofvoice]

powerofvoice: [He's quiet, but was that new? A lot of his answers took more thought. Maybe conversation in general did. By the time he had accepted Desire as part of himself, by the time he started to have conversations with him, it had been a while since what he'd said had mattered. It would be too easy to just lapse into silence.

He would have without Desire.]

They'll know you. They realize how different I was then, how different I am now. [He doesn't add that it was the 'back then' that had most likely drew their interest. That would sound like it was placing blame on a man that had no blame in this.]


dramaticalblue: Yeah. I know.

[ Desire sighs again. There'd definitely be no helping that. Their captors if anyone, would immediately know who he is. He wonders what their reaction will be. Will they be angry that they've lost their compliant Aoba, or will they be excited to break him all over again? Maybe the latter, seeing as it had been him who had caught their interest in the first place. Either way, none of the options are appealing in the least. ]

Maybe it'll caught 'em off-guard.

Comments

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire had considered seeking medical help when he'd first arrived in the city, but he hadn't wanted to stay longer than necessary. That, and he'd been paranoid about Virus and Trip somehow finding him (as by then, they must have noticed that he was gone) as well as being asked intrusive questions. It was better this way. Granny had been a nurse, after all. She could care for them. ]

You don't have to thank me. I told you I'd get us out, right?

[ He smiles again, more than a little happy about the fact that he'd been able to keep his promises because he hadn't even been half as sure that he'd be able to as he sounded. ]

[powerofvoice]

[He's not sure he could let Granny check him everywhere he should be checked. He's not sure he can let anybody near what needs to be checked. He wants to have a solitary shower and then never take his clothes off again.]

No, I do. [It still feels surreal; if he didn't trust Desire so completely, he would have questioned it.] I won't shove you back just because we're out. We're both going home.

[dramaticalblue]

I know. [ Still, it makes him happy to hear Reason say it and he embraces him even closer. ]

Shit's gonna be hard to deal with, and I'll help you with anything you need that you might not be comfortable doin' on your own, okay?

[ It'll be difficult for him too, but... he's not been abused as much or for as long as his other so he knows it'll be easier for him to get them the help they need. That and the fact that he's fully comitted to continue protecting and helping Aoba for as long as needed. ]

[powerofvoice]

[He doesn't want to let go. Part of it is celebration, part of it is affection, and maybe another part of it was the fact they shared a tortured past, a bond that went even further than sharing a body.

Past. It was past now, not life.]

I'll handle it. [He could. Desire had given him time to heal mentally while taking the abuse. Now, it was Aoba's turn to let him rest.] You did all of this, so I can take it from here.

[He still couldn't believe it.] Virus and Trip? Are they...?

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire doesn't want to let go either and so he doesn't. If their awful ordeal has brought anything positive with it it's that they've now got a bond stronger than they've had in years, and Desire cant help but to be grateful for that at least. ]

If you're sure... Don't be afraid to ask me for help if y'need it though. I wanna help you with all of this.

[ The question has him shrugging his shoulders. ] I dunno. They weren't in the house when I left, but they gotta know that we're gone by now. They cant do shit about it now though.

[powerofvoice]

[His hands curl into fists behind his back. He doesn't want to say it, doesn't want to bring it down, so he'll keep his doubts to himself. But, Virus and Trip wouldn't just let them go, not after they knew the truth.

He'd worry about that later. For now, he'd enjoy being free.]

It's gonna be so good to be home. I wonder how Ren's doing? Did you find him too?

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire isn't stupid. He knows that Trip and Virus will likely try to get to them again, but he wants to stay optimistic now. Besides, when they get back they'll have Koujaku, Granny and everyone else watching out for them. If Virus and Trip wants to get to them, they'll have to go through Aoba's security net first.

The question about Ren makes him deflate a little. He'd been too caught up with getting them out of there to really ask Granny or anyone else about Ren, and he feels a bit guilty for it now. Reason would definitely not have forgotten about that, but while Desire cares a great deal about the Allmate (it had technically been him who'd found him all those years ago after all), his priority hadn't been towards him just then. Ren would understand, though, he's sure. ]

Sorry, I forgot to ask Granny about him, but 'm sure he's fine.

[powerofvoice]

[Aoba knows they have to be. Eventually, they would also have to be realistic; they'd have to be checked, they'd have to deal with people again, they'd have to worry about the two psychos after them. But, they deserved the break.

Besides, before, he'd been pretty optimistic himself. He'd probably never be the same Aoba, but he could at least enjoy his freedom here with Desire.]

Yeah, probably. [He smiles, relaxing the hold into something more normal before pulling back, keeping his arms on the other's body still.]

We're going home. [He couldn't help the smile that threatened to split his cheeks.] We're gonna have a shower and a bed. They'll be Granny's home cooking; Koujaku's probably going to say something stupid when we get back too.

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire gives him a loop-sided grin and nods. ]

Yeah.

[ Things will never return to normal for them, he's sure, but... being out of captivity will definitely give them a new chance at life. Besides, it's good to see Reason smile again - especially when it's so genuine. ]

Hnn... I wonder if Granny kept the room lookin' the same?

[powerofvoice]

Probably. [He imagines it, his old room. He had a method to his madness, but it was always so full of tech. Granny wasn't the kind to give up so she'd probably kept it as best as she could.

He hoped she had held up well herself. Her health hadn't been the best, and this was supposed to be the time in his life he was caring for her, not the other way around.]

There's probably a lot of dust in some of the electronics, but nothing we can't open up and clean out. [That was a lot of things to dust between. Besides, mindlessly opening up and cleaning electronics sounded pretty good right then.]

[dramaticalblue]

Heh. Yeah. We gotta build up some strength before we go 'round cleaning the place though.

[ His escape from their captors had done a number on his body which was already in bad shape to begin with. His legs hadn't gotten even half as much use during their entire time in captivity (had it been months? Years?) as they had during his treck through the German countryside. Pure willpower and determination had seemed the only things that had kept him going for those terrifying hours. ]

[powerofvoice]

[Practical, they were back to practical.

Had his body gotten worse? Desire had been the one in charge for a little while now. Really, if they could manage to walk out, he couldn't even really imagine how it could have gotten worse.]

We will. [It's kind of scary, being helpful, but he could do that. He'd let himself have a little bit of hope at Desire's promise and it had turned out well.] We'll get strong again. We made it out, right?

[dramaticalblue]

Yeah.

[ Hearing Reason sound so optimistic fills Desire with a sense of hope and happiness. He hasn't sounded so positive since their captivity had started. ]

And you won't be alone. I'll be there. And so will Granny, Koujaku, Ren... those other weirdos you hang out with.

[ He grins a little at that. Aoba definitely had a penchant for making some strange friends. ]

[powerofvoice]

Mizuki'll be there, if he's okay. [Aoba hopes he is. God does he hope he's okay.] Mink, Clear, and Noiz have all probably moved on. They really were a lot of help, but they didn't really know us.

[He doesn't know about the missed calls on the Coil, after all. A lot of strange people had come into their life, and maybe he would have liked to know them better, but they had been gone so long.]

Who did you wanna see first? I'll let you take over for a bit after we get home.

[dramaticalblue]

I'm sure he's fine. [ Desire really hopes so too. He feels bad for his part in what had happened to him. He'd never wanted for Mizuki to get hurt. ]

Actually, Noiz is the one that got us tickets home. Apparently he speaks German. I also saw some messages from unlisted numbers on your Coil. I didn't have time to check 'em, but they coulda been from those other two.

[ He smiles a little. Aoba is so loved, so cared for. Someone people are drawn to... It makes Desire feel a little lonely, but he quickly pushes the feeling away. He's an accepted part of Aoba now, and so he'll never be lonely again. ]

Granny and Koujaku's picking us up at the airport. Doubt they're gonna let us out of their sight for a while. Heh.

[powerofvoice]

Noiz? [Really? Had the rematch meant that much to him?

Aoba moves to sit, pulling Desire down with him.] I know what he's talking about, now. The game. You won it, right? We probably owe him for this.

...But not yet. Phone's probably okay, but I don't really want to see a lot of people for a while. Until we look better, anyway. They'll ask a lot of questions, and I don't wanna answer them.

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire shrugs as he sits down next to his other. ] We don't owe anyone anything. If he helped us 'cause he thinks he's gonna get somethin' out of it, he's an idiot.

[ He wraps an arm around Aoba and squeezes his shoulder gently. ] Yeah. 'm sure no one's gonna hold that against you. If they do, they ain't worth your time anyway.

[powerofvoice]

[Aoba leans against his counterpart. It was a comfortable and familiar gesture. He knows how he seems when he's in here, his body he means, but he knows he's not giving it up. Desire was a real person and this was the only place they could both exist.

He wishes that were different. Having Desire literally by his side out in the real world would make a big difference.]

Yeah...Somehow, I think they'll get it, but they'll probably worry. How bad do we look? [Sometimes they were bruised, sometimes Virus or Trip decided to inflict more mental pain than physical.]

[dramaticalblue]

[ One part of Desire wishes he could be apart from Aoba in some way so that he could look after him in a better way, but at the same time... He knows he'd never feel comfortable in a body that's not this one. It feels like just as much his body as it is Reason's. ]

Pretty bad to be honest. They did a fuckin' number on us. Got some new scars and bruises...

[ There's no point in hiding any of that from Reason - he'll see it for himself as soon as he takes back control of their body anyway so he might as well be honest. Better to prepare his other half for it than have him be shocked when he sees it for himself. ]

[powerofvoice]

[It feels like it's his body because it is. Reason usually drives, but Desire owns the body just as much. He'd fought that, so hard, before they had been stuck with just each other. Now, he acknowledges it. He's willing to share it now, though they would need to set rules. There were some things Reason couldn't accept being done, things people who trusted him not to do. But, somehow, he thinks his other side will understand that.

No more being trapped, for either of them. Aoba knew how that felt now.]

Any new ones we can't hide? [His neck held scars, he knew.]

[dramaticalblue]

[ Of course, Desire wouldn't want to do anything that his other isn't comfortable with. He exists to protect and to balance, not to make things difficult for the main personality. As much as he would have hated to admit it in the past, it's difficult when it's just the two of them. They need Restraint too, but he's been gone for so long now. Driven away because Desire wouldn't listen to him, drowned him out as he spiraled out of control and dragged Reason down with him. He feels guilty for that. ]

They're mostly on our upper body. Hips, stomach, sides. There's one on the inside of our thighs as well...

[ That one had been the worst. He involunatirly shudders as he remembers how it'd felt when Trip had dragged a knife across his skin while he was tied down and unable to do anything about it. He never, ever wants to experience that again. ]

[powerofvoice]

[They all had their regrets. Aoba can't help but compare of the entrapment of Desire to his own entrapment by Virus and Trip. Of course there are differences, but both had been a cage.

Legs, arms, stomach, hips, sides, collarbone. He can't see his own back, but he imagines it being the worst. It was never just about sex with them. They'd wanted to cause pain, with their bodies, weapons, Allmates. Probably, he was going to be one large scar for the rest of his life.

Good thing he wasn't worried about anything he would need to be attractive for.]

Then we can hide 'em. Most of my clothes have long sleeves, anyway. We'll probably need higher collars, though. [At least they had always been a fan of layers.

He lays a hand on Desire's knee; that shiver was obvious.] Things'll be better now.

[dramaticalblue]

[ They'd wanted to own Aoba, possess and control him completely. He'd been nothing but an exciting toy that no one else had - a thing to be played with and broken down until it stopped being amusing. They had their different ways of torture. Trip being more physical while Virus preferred psychological torment, but both methods had worked splendidly to systematically break Aoba's will, to condition him to expect punishment if he displeased them. The isolation, starvation, dehydration, the humiliation of being left naked and in his own filth for hours on end were great tools to achieve the same goal too.

The more Desire thinks about it, the angrier he gets. He hadn't experienced it for as long as Reason had - hadn't been as beaten down as his other either, but there had definitely been times when everything had felt so hopeless and pointless. He'd wanted to give up. Only his dedication to Reason had kept him going through that. And it had paid off. That's the most important thing. It had all been worth it.

He manages a smile and nods, curling an arm around Reason's. ]

Yeah. Granny's probably gonna want to look us over, though... You think you can handle that?

[powerofvoice]

[They played rough with their toys. It was only some miracle that they hadn't broken, that they hadn't become nothing but a shell. Even with both of them, it would have been all too easy to go inside and never come out. Their life would have ended, but what life did they have? Pain, humiliation. There was nothing in their life not meant to degrade them.

One hand came to wrap around his forearm, a frown appearing on Aoba's face.]

I don't know. For most of it, it'd be okay, it'd be like a checkup. It's just... the sex stuff they did. [That they focused on.] I know she can't know all of it just by looking at the damage, but she'll know some of it. It's Granny.

[dramaticalblue]

[ Desire nods and slides his hand into Aoba's, squeezing it gently.

Granny would definitely understand what had happened - not at all of it, but... enough of it. But she wasn't the kind of person to pry, or to insist on finding out exactly what had happened. She'd likely accept whatever they felt comfortable telling her. Desire is more concerned about how Koujaku might react. ]

If it gets too much, I can take over, okay?